Nighttime Hosts Target Trump's New 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

TV's top entertainers devoted their broadcast criticizing former President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," characterizing it as a clear pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy.

Stephen Colbert's Witty Analysis

Opening his broadcast, Stephen Colbert delivered a mock holiday tune about the commander-in-chief. "He is compiling a list, reviewing it twice, before giving that list to the officials at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... destroys all he touches."

Colbert's target was the controversial initiative that enables international nationals to purchase U.S. legal status for the price of one million dollars, with a "platinum" version for five million. An official page guarantees processing "in record time."

"A quick thought here to affluent immigrants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He noted that the scheme is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses wishing to hire skilled workers, requiring significant fees. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choice – as long as it's the a specific Marriott," he said.

"Unprecedented background check the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the visa program the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will let wealthy overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "It's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's plunging poll numbers amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term because they were mad about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a effort to address prices, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of food items, where he behaved peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative media arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he joked.